Posted in Feelings

Saddest Goodbye

I remember the moment I fell… we were at the dog park and you were play chase with Rosco. I watched from a distance and I had a moment where I was overcome with warmth and I felt love. I think you might have felt for me for about 5 minutes, then you let go. I can’t undo feelings of love quite so quickly. We proceeded on, but I was sex only. No feeling. I’ve continued for over 3 years to love you. But accepted sex only.

I remember the moment, on my couch when you informed me you were moving. I felt my heart sink. I could fool myself up until then that I kind of mattered to you, but any fool would finally get it that I meant nothing really. The night you texted me that you wanted to start a new life I knew it was my reality check that I had to let go. You have no idea how much I cried in my grief. Alone. Too embarrassed to be vulnerable with you to sincerely share how deeply sad I was.

It tears me up but I can’t share my body with you anymore. I make love, for you it’s just sex. You’ve never led me to believe it was anything more. I take responsibility for living in la la land with you.

I love you and probably always will. I met you 2 days after the worst time in my life, losing my sister. You hold a special place in my heart. I always want nothing but the best for you, I want you to feel for someone how I feel for you. Genuine love. Hopefully she’ll be a Broncos fan 🙂